So with the rest of the crew doing their VLogs, I figured I’d chime in. Not with an actual vlog, as I’m far too lazy, so instead I’ll just do one about the horrific movie: VLOG. Let’s take a history lesson that I’m all too embarrassed to recall. Dig back a decade, give or take…
Hot Coffee Asian Pear
We try a health food store Asian Pear/Ginger drink, Coffee Cola, and a ‘HOT’ asian energy offering.
Doctor Mordrid (1992)
Doctor Mordrid is further proof that Jeffrey Combs can do no wrong. I dare you to find a movie that he wasn’t good in. You can’t. Sure the movies may not be good, but he throws himself into every character treating them as serious as any A list performance should be. The production of Doctor…
Princess (2006)
Princess is a modern-day tale of revenge centered on August, former missionary turned unwitting uncle and guardian of Mia; the 5-year old daughter of his recently deceased sister, Christina. Gaining the nickname of “The Princess” in the porn community, Christina died from years of drug abuse leaving Mia to be[break] raised in the care of…
Session 9 (2001)
It had been a while since I’d seen a good horror movie so I wasn’t expecting much beyond the typical “thing in the closet waiting to jump out at you” trope when it came to Session 9. The plot, in a nutshell, is about a group of asbestos-removers tasked with working in an old mental…
Crash and Burn (1990)
Here we have a pseudo-hold over from Charles Band’s Empire days. While not a real sequel, as Robot Wars fits that a little better as a followup to Robot Jox, it does lift some archival footage in order to achieve the climax of the movie. The movie title is even an homage to Robot Jox…
Creating Rem Lezar (1989)
I apologize in advance for the quality of these screenshots. It wasn’t easy finding a decent copy of this movie. It has proven quite difficult for me to really, seriously, hate or even get angry about the existence of a movie like Creating Rem Lezar. The terrible acting, cornball dialog, horrendous musical numbers, laughable special…
Monster (2008)
Monster is another attempt by The Asylum to cash in on a much better motion picture; in this case Cloverfield. One would have you believe that The Asylum’s offering is the horrifying, “real” account of two American filmmakers struggling to survive the rampage of an enormous beast. What you actually get is 85 minutes of…
I Am Omega (2007)
I Am Omega is a “mockbuster” title put out by The Asylum that met its release shortly before I Am Legend, which starred Will Smith. Much like the film it imitates, I Am Omega tells the tale of one man”s struggle for survival after a viral outbreak transforms most of the world”s population into mindless…
Alien vs. Hunter (2007)
Well, Playstation Network is still down. Guess I’ll post a review. Alien Vs. Hunter is yet another “mockbuster” spewed forth from the semi-competent minds of The Asylum. Much like Alien Vs. Predator, this movie features a monstrous alien running amok while a stoic, armor-clad humanoid alien hunter chases it. A ragtag group of humans are…