Welcome to the first installment of retro commercials. The first may be the last, since I don’t have any others on hand at the moment, but we’ll go with it regardless.
The following are commercials that I’ve personally taken off old VHS tapes, so I’m not just meandering around Youtube looking for update fodder. We run a clean ship around here, you know. All of these were around an original airing of No Man’s Land, which I’m sure I will be tackling at some point. A few seem to be from a later point in time, since VHS tapes aren’t really all that organized. Often you just threw a tape in at the last moment to record something. Alas those days are gone, and I don’t even know how to tape things off the TV anymore.
Comical physical violence was still okay, and Lucky is fired into the ground by a cannon, then apparently burnt alive. The cereal fairs worse and disintegrates. The kids already scores their own box, so the leprechaun is just out of luck.
But they made toys for the characters in any case, and here they are. With a light sprinkling of random movie clips featuring characters that aren’t even being sold, this leads to kids playing with the four new offerings. Of the four, only Luke and Lando are remotely recognizable to me. The other two are random aliens apparently. So for some reason in a feature length movie, they couldn’t find a new character that had more appeal. Perhaps they didn’t know which characters would be a hit yet. Or maybe I’m completely ignorant (let’s assume so).
The thing that always gets me about toy commercials are the elaborate sets the kids get to use. Even at this point, they had an entire sand dune in their house to simulate a desert. It’s not as bad as today where kids seemingly romp around in a futuristic world specifically designed for their current toy in hand, but still, I never would have been allowed to have an indoor sand box.
Breakfast commercials did always seem like a grand event, what with a glass of milk, a glass of orange juice, basket of rolls, toast, and a vase of tulips. Why was there more milk. Isn’t the stuff in the cereal enough. A long shot from eating cereal out of the box like I used to. And by used to, I mean still do.
One time I tried to order McNuggets at Wendy’s, and the guy got all bent out of shape.