NOTE: As I was looking for more reviews to link to at the bottom, I noticed the review on teleport-city had many of the same screen shots, even thought I took them independant of reading that review. So, I’d just like to state that I’m not, and wouldn’t rip them off like that.
Yeah, I know I’m one in a few million sites who have reviewed Jack Frost. But it has to be done sooner or later. Also it’s well after the holiday season, so how’s that for craziness.
He checks into the office where his receptionist is ignoring him, until he jokingly asks if someone died, which in turn she holds up a piece of note paper that states: ‘Someone Died’. He checks it out and some old guy is dead, and still rocking in his chair…until the sheriff tells his deputy to take his foot off the chair. I thought that was clever. The sheriff calls the FBI to verify if Jack Frost was really dead. The FBI dude lies and says yes. His sci-homeboy starts complaining about how they hadn’t tested the chemicals, and it really sucks that a killer is on the loose. Mysteriously a snowman appears in the sheriff’s wife’s front yard. The kid is busy inside cooking more crap and making messes. The weird thing is that he looks like 13, but acts and talks 6. That aside, he heads out to give the snowman a face. Back at the sheriffs office the locals are restless and complain a lot. The sheriff tells them to go away and they go to the mini-mart to buy ammo. Back at home, the kid is putting the final touches on the snowman. Then the blackice sled gang appears and hassles the kid and knocks the snowman’s head off. Donning evil twig eyebrows, the snowman pushes the head gang member down and a sled runs over his head, cleanly severing it. The police carry the boys head off in a bag, while the kid mutters ‘the snow man did it’ it over and over.
At the home of the people who’s punk kid just died, the wife wants to decorate the tree. The father gets all bothered since it’s not the best time to bring up festivities. Then Shannon Elizabeth walks in, giving her more film time, which is fine. She leaves and the father goes out for some firewood. But he doesn’t; he goes out to smoke his pipe. But that’s when the snowman out in front asks for a smoke. The father grabs and ax, while a voice taunts him. The guy thinks someone is hiding and ignores the snowman. Too late, the snowman grabs the ax and stabs him with it. Not the blade mind you, but handle first. ‘I only axed you for a smoke’ Jack Frost states. One-liners like this litter the movie. Some are bad; some are just way out there. This one was just bad. Jack sneaks into the house, via melting and going under the door. Earlier in the movie the wife states that she always wanted to be the angel on the tree. Well Jack makes her wish come true. The only catch is, she gets tied up with lights and sliced by ornaments. The sheriff arrived on the scene and tells people to take her down. ‘So you don’t suggest we leave her up for the 12 days of Christmas?’ the deputy asks.
Shannon Elizabeth sneaks into the sheriffs house with he boyfriend. She goes off to do who knows what, and the dude gets some ice and eats it! Could he have eaten frost? Actually, this has no relevance, since frost comes inside soon after. The dude stabs jack a bunch of times, and it does nothing. So Jack fires off a shard of ice to pin the dude against a door. Then he kills Shannon Elizabeth, but I won’t go into it, because it’s too disturbing.
They run out and blow up the building with a few aerosol cans, and then Jack gets a little messed up and steals a line from ‘Toy Story’. The whole town gets clued in on the snowman and panics, but they won’t be any help. The sheriff and FBI guys head to the boiler room. After some hassling and shooting the scientist spills the info about how Jack exists, and how snow can live and how a soul is a chemical. The next plan is to throw him into a furnace. Jack, not the scientist, although that may be a good idea anyway. As they’re waiting for Jack to appear, the FBI guy starts a monologue about a summer of ’79 and the sheriff tells him to be quiet as Jack rolls through the front door as a giant snowball. The people armed with hairdryers force Jack into the furnace and celebrate and all leave except for the FBI guys. They talk while some steam escapes and forms back into Jack. The main FBI guy gets his face chomped and Jack turns to the scientist. The sci-guy tries to negotiate, but with no luck. The scientist lumbers outside and starts throwing up while everyone watches.
So what did I think. Personally I loved it, and bought the sequel. Everyone else hates it, though I’m not sure why. They hate the sequel even more. Hate all around. So much hate, you could pour it in a bottle and bury it. Also in the credits, they credit someone called ‘Idiot’. This confused me, but in the directors commentary of Jack Frost 2, this is explained. But you’ll have to wait for that….