It’s apparent why the actors are in this movie. Lance Hendrickson and Tony Todd make a living off these roles and don’t take them terribly serious. Eddy Furlong is in a need of a comeback after Crow: Wicked Prayer, and Tiffany Shepis has been in most recent b-movies, so it’s just a matter of routine at this point I imagine.

One thing we notice off the bat is how bad Furlong looks. To help, he could have left the hair longer. As they role cast him as a winner of a walk on part in a pirate b-movie, the role within a role doesn’t seem too far off from the truth. On the other hand, the supporting actors take the helm and give us some better performances, all while attracting a bit more attention.

The supporting cast is basically the cast on the movie within a movie. The director plays a great jerk, the sound man is a spitting image of Brucie from GTA4 although instead of shouting Alpha Male, he shouts about getting the sound levels right. “No flange, all in the green!” Then there’s the lead pirate who has a fascination with raw onions, and dines on them between each scene. He also has a specialized onion bib.

The movie in question is just another part of a production studio aimed at producing cheap movies with a quick turnaround. The studio head has a dark past involving the murder of a young starlet. Somehow Furlong’s character can see the ghostly imagine of her during the screening session. Thinking it’s a trick, he awkwardly makes a scene, and people he’s crazy. Then a slasher comes around and start killing people. I’m sure there’s a connection but somehow that gets muddled up.

But fear not, after the murder mystery is solved, we fade to ‘later’. Although ‘later’ seems to only be a few days. The crew blamed Furlong for some reason and decided to rough him up. This leads to the best scene ever where the pirate throws a smoke grenade into the room, but it rolls under a bed. He dives to retrieve it, and ends up unconscious and gasping. I suppose you’d have to see it, but it warranted a rewind, which is gold in my book.

I forget how it ends, but it doesn’t much matter. It’s a slasher movie, so that’s negative points there, but it had the Candyman as a sarcastic cop, so add a few there in lieu.