In my defense, I found this in the $2 flat rate bin at the local job lot. Sadly, I was expecting some terrible jewels in the rough, but this is all I could find. There were some bizarre childrens’ videos, but they scared me even more. It was nightmarish.

Slashers really are the bane of my movie watching experience. There are very few in the genre that remotely are exciting and/or original. Even then, they’re not particularly interesting to watch. In yet another ‘if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry’ moment, someone from time to time has the idea to make a REAL slasher movie, forget about all the rest. Reminds me of the millions of rap songs talking about how other rappers don’t know what they’re talking about. But if all you talk about, is talking about others not talking right, where’s the content. Same goes with Slasher movies about slasher movies. They attempt to make the ultimate slasher, or at least a movie about a classic, but then they fall into the trap of actually having to show the best example ever, and everything fails pretty hard.

So it opens with the first scene from a typical 80’s slasher. Just as the killing scene happens, someone yells ‘cut’, and you find out it’s just a movie set. But then real murder happens, and the lead actress ends up killing the real slasher, who’s dressed as the fake slasher. Jump to the present where a college professor is talking about slasher films as part of a class. I’m not sure how they passed that by the accreditation board, but so be it. Someone mentions the name of the long unfinished ‘greatest horror movie of all time even though it wasn’t completed’ film, and the deaths surrounding the production. The teacher yells a lot and warns then to stay away, but of course they don’t listen and start Googling the bee-turds out of the film trying to get a scoop.

Somehow they get the rights from the widower of the director, and also the annoying lead actress, who after being unemployed for a decade, still has an attitude problem. As you can imagine, once the production starts, somehow the slasher comes back and starts killing people. In a mode similar to the recent Midnight Movie, his existence hinges on the movie’s energy or something. Usually this information comes a little too late for it to be useful though.

Deaths are the standard stabbing fair as you’d expect. However one was particularly brutal. A couple are trapped in a car, and as the slasher is dumping gasoline (sorry petrol, forgot this was a British film) on it, the girl escapes and then he ends up dumping gas on her. Flicking a match, he lights her on fire as she runs away screaming. That one was a bit more brutal than most others.

However in the end, it’s another traditional slasher that falls into the undue belief that it’s the next big thing, when in essence it’s more of the same.