Dennis Hopper, David Boreanaz, and Danny Trejo, how can we go wrong. Well Edward Furlong and Tara Reid for starters. But so many other things go wrong in this movie. I guess technically I can’t say it has no plot, since it copies the plot from the original. To recap: man loves girl, man wants to marry girl, man almost marries girl, man and girl die by thugs, crow resurrects man, man kills thugs but drama happens in the mean time to pad out the 90 minutes.

Do I have to continue with the review? Guess so, argh. Well the movie starts off with some random scenes of a chain gang shooting things up. An unknown sniper is on the steeple of a church and waits for an explosion in order to shoot the hand cuffs off an inmate. Turns out she (the sniper) is in cahoots with a satanic cult leader and they all run off to regain their cult status and become immortal.

Then we have Furlong and his frowned upon love for a Mexican girl. He lives in a trailer and has those weird puffy eyes, but she still wants him for some reason. With a ring picked out, and some flowers in hand, he meets up with her so they can escape and get married. Unfortunately they run into the gang of thugs and end up hanged and stabbed. Things don’t look too promising after that point, but suddenly the crow shows up to help out. Since we’ve already seen the long writhing scene in the original Crow, there’s little point redoing it here. So they skip past that quickly and before you know it, he’s in full makeup and ready to go.

Unlike the original, there isn’t much buildup or traveling through mini-revenges. In fact he seems to befriend half of the previous bad guys. The lead is all he’s interested in anyway. At this point, a dark priest is called upon to marry the cult leader and his girlfriend. Once they are married, they will live forever and be unstoppable. Until the Crow can stop them anyway.

We’re then treated to many silly fight scenes that don’t impress too much until some sort of resolution is obtained. Overall it’s just a ridiculous premise, even more so than the idea of a resurrecting crow. The execution is so perplexing, I’m not sure who pitched this, and thought it was a good idea. In some way, it tried to move in another direction, but the setup was essentially the same. The lack of gothic settings didn’t help with the atmosphere, as the Mexican border just doesn’t feel right for this type of story. But at least Dennis Hopper came in to ham it up a bit. That’s always worth a look.