croc_01

Car ride cliché…check. Okay, off to a start then. Many years ago, Tobe Hooper made a movie called Eaten Alive. Not to be confused with the cannibal movie of the same (translated) name. This movie starred Robert Englund seven year before he would become the famous Freddy Krueger. His role played him as a rather perverse deviant, which at the time must have been shocking. In Crocodile, I imagine the twenty-somethings partake in the same activities, but now it’s just being part of the ‘progressive liberating movement’ or whatever the kids are calling it these days.

croc_05

So really while the original wasn’t all that scary, the people in it made the scenario a bit more gritty. Now we get people who want to party and drink, then get eaten. Yet somehow there’s still less sympathy for them, and we’re glad they die. In fact we boo when someone still manages to survive. This really is one of the more annoying groups of people that I’ve had to wait 80 minutes to see die. Louis CK put it best when he stated that he can’t stand single-people problems. And it’s true. “Oh no, my puppy is gone” “Oh no, we’re out of beer” “Oh no, my boyfriend slept with my best friend and still didn’t think it awkward to invite her along for the trip”

After an hour of complaining, frat boy humor, and strained relationships, the croc finally shows up and starts its killing. You see after some rednecks crushed up some eggs, the crew stumbled upon it and stole one of the remaining. So rather than killing out of hunger, the 20 foot croc is just out to kill them and wreck their houseboat. The houseboat belongs to the rich kid, so we care even less. He also has a baby face but grew a weak beard to make him look tougher, but it doesn’t work.

croc_10

Somewhere along the line, we meet some alligator ranchers who aren’t of much help since this is a croc, not an alligator. They still offer to help, but it is of little use in the end, as are most things in this movie. Overall, not a whole lot happens, but you get to see a CGI crocodile run around a bit and puke someone up. That was one redeeming quality anyway.