Goshzilla

Goshzilla runs the site and controls our every move. He claims to review movies but always puts the workload on us. But we are ever gracious of his presence, and that makes it worth our while.
Goshzilla was also the star of his movie Goshzilla.

Dann

Dann pays the bills and reviews whatever anyone else doesn't want to. Starring in every DCJ Productions movie except for Goshzilla, he knows what it takes for a movie to be great. Despite being forced into slavery as a movie reviewer, he tries to look at the brighter side.

Brian

Brian is forced to watch the worst of the b-movies and then must report his findings. He longs for the eventual day that he will be free to do something other than review movies.

Zafo

Zafo is actually a colony of hyper-evolved termites encased in a humanoid polycarbonate suit designed for the sole purpose of playing video games and writing about them.

Alex

We all hate Alex and dump the bulk of the movies on him. We're not sure why, but it just feels good to relieve our own burdens.

LesserGood

Nobody knows where he came from. He has always been and will always be. Also, he sometimes writes reviews...OF INCONCEIVABLE HORROR!!!1

Joe

We leave Joe alone for the most part, and his selection of questionable movie choices only strengthens that.

The Orthodontist

The Orthodontist starred in his own short film, The Orthodontist. After that he retired and now reviews the Eurotrash movies on this site.