Doctor Mordrid is further proof that Jeffrey Combs can do no wrong. I dare you to find a movie that he wasn't good in. You can't. Sure the movies may not be good, but he throws himself into every character treating them as serious as any A list performance should be. continue reading...
Princess is a modern-day tale of revenge centered on August, former missionary turned unwitting uncle and guardian of Mia; the 5-year old daughter of his recently deceased sister, Christina. Gaining the nickname of “The Princess” in the porn community, Christina died from years of drug abuse leaving Mia to be continue reading...
Developer(s): Locomalito Platform(s): PC Year: 2008 Link:Here
8bit killer is what a first-person shooter would be like if it were released for the NES. It manages to espouse feelings of nostalgia through the use of simplistic controls and retro graphics without compromising the gameplay experience. continue reading...
It had been a while since I'd seen a good horror movie so I wasn't expecting much beyond the typical “thing in the closet waiting to jump out at you” trope when it came to Session 9. The plot, in a nutshell, is about a group of asbestos-removers tasked with working in an old mental continue reading...
Thursday, June 23, 2011 - Sci-fi
Crash and Burn [1990] - In the future, all computers are banned from private use. Synthoids are also around and cause trouble.
Here we have a pseudo-hold over from Charles Band's Empire days. While not a real sequel, as Robot Wars fits that a little better as a followup to Robot Jox, it does lift some archival footage in order to achieve the climax of the movie. The movie title is even an homage to Robot Jox as the term 'Crash and Burn' is analogous to 'break a leg'; the saying used prior to robotic combat before each event. However most of the borrowed elements are so out of context, they have little relation to their source material. One may say that in addition to just grabbing footage, the type of movies Band wanted to make were still in the same vein as previous releases. continue reading...
Here we are on another journey through random drink assortments, old and new. Obscure and retro. Good and evil. Pretentious and heartwarming. Some are still around and common at the local mini-mart, but hey, I need to fill some space on the site to justify renewing it next year. continue reading...
I apologize in advance for the quality of these screenshots. It wasn’t easy finding a decent copy of this movie.
It has proven quite difficult for me to really, seriously, hate or even get angry about the existence of a movie like Creating Rem Lezar. The terrible acting, cornball dialog, horrendous musical numbers, laughable special effects, and fatuous plot (pretty much everything about this film) all present volatile fodder for continue reading...
Monster is another attempt by The Asylum to cash in on a much better motion picture; in this case Cloverfield. One would have you believe that The Asylum's offering is the horrifying, “real” account of two American filmmakers struggling to survive the rampage of an enormous beast. What you actually get is 85 minutes of unlikable characters, cheap visual effects, and absolutely no forward momentum in the plot department.
This film tries so hard to imitate the Cloverfield aesthetic that it actually continue reading...
Friday, May 13, 2011 - Action Horror Sci-fi
I Am Omega [2007] - In a totally original story by The Asylum, one man struggles to survive in a city where everyone is feral. Hah! Bet you thought it was going to be vampires! It's not! IT'S ORIGINAL!
I Am Omega is a “mockbuster” title put out by The Asylum that met its release shortly before I Am Legend, which starred Will Smith. Much like the film it imitates, I Am Omega tells the tale of one man’s struggle for survival after a viral outbreak transforms most of the world’s population into mindless killers. This film also has the rare distinction of being the only Asylum film continue reading...
Monday, May 2, 2011 - Sci-fi
Alien Vs. Hunter [2007] - Whoever wins...ah, who are we kidding? It's The Asylum: no one wins.
Slowly we move through the Full Moon offerings. I say slowly since I never update anymore, and we'll probably reach Evil Bong 3 shortly before my death. Maybe Bride of Head of the Family will even be released by then. Miracles may happen, but somehow I doubt that Jacqueline Lovell will be back. continue reading...
Thursday, October 28, 2010 - Horror
Jack-O [1995] - A pumpkin man terrorizes a boy and a town...poorly.
Wow, what a glorious mess. I had seen this reviewed on something awful a while back (10 years), and they tore it apart. But then they also tore apart my beloved Jack Frost 2, so I'm thinking they just aren't the proper audience to enjoy b-movies. continue reading...
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