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Goshzilla.com - Now in colour!
| Monday, November 23, 2009 - Horror |
Hurt [2009] - After taking an orphan into the family, a widow finds life becomes a bit more violent. After watching the orphan recently, I found this movie with a similar premise. But after completing it, the concept of an evil orphan was about the only similarity. However with this one, there was less grueling death, and a bit more integration with the two family's plots.
A family consisting of a mother and he two almost grown kids, have to move out of their house after their father's death. They end up at the uncle's car junkyard for a while until the settlement comes in. Other than that promise, there was no money to speak of from the father, but he did leave some adoption papers behind. Since the mother is the next of kin, she is offered to take custody of the child on a temporary basis. continue reading...
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| Thursday, November 19, 2009 - Games |
An Untitled Story [2007] - Find out the secret world of eggs in this infuriating, Metroid-style platformer. There really isn’t anything like the sense of accomplishment one feels when playing an action/exploration game. Games like Metroid put you in bizarre world with bizarre alien life forms and no real direction to go in. With every new hostile alien encounter came a new victory that was yours solely. No one explained to you what the enemy’s weakness was and no one really told you how to win, you just did it and you succeeded…hopefully.
An Untitled Story borrows several cues from the Metroid series and others like it (i.e. any Castlevania games post-Symphony of the Night games). There really isn’t much in the way of storytelling, but a cohesive narrative is certainly implied. That is to say, there was clearly some thought regarding the world of the game and the role you play as a sentient egg (and later a chick), but the game doesn’t allow itself to get too bogged down with the narrative. You’re an egg that can roll around and jump, bam, we got a game!
In addition to jumping and moving, your egg can also continue reading...
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| Wednesday, November 18, 2009 - Sci-fi |
Lifeforce [1985] - Space travelers investigate a strange craft orbiting the moon, and bring home something deadly. It took a while to wrap my brain around the fact that this was a Tobe Hooper film. It almost seemed too good. Not to say he's just in the realm of silly b-movies, but a high scale sci-fi action flick just didn't seem to match. But then again it's about space vampires in the end, so I suppose that may make some sense.
A mysterious spacecraft appears out in space orbiting the moon, so a shuttle is sent up to investigate. As they enter the inner chambers, the large umbrella-like structure at the end begins to open up. This provides access to the inner sanctum where three humanoid figures are suspended in crystal cases. They decided to bring them back home, but soon after lose contact with Earth. continue reading...
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| Tuesday, November 17, 2009 - Sci-fi |
Infestation [2009] - Bugs infest a city, and only a slacker can save the day. This was actually a pretty good movie. While attacking bugs scenarios have been done many times before, this movie does attempt to provide a new spin on the situation. Much like Shaun of the Dead, we're presented with a slacker's take on the events as he goes about his meaningless day and is thrown head-first into an apocalypse.
While it make lack some of the wit of Shaun, it does kick the action off within a few minutes rather than in the middle. For this, we are able to meet the cast and the collection of ever increasing alien bugs. While the characters consist of the traditional annoying/hope-to-die ones as well as genuine innocents, there are a few that stand out. The deaf guy plays similar to Lennie from Of Mice and Men. Except we don't have quite as a horrific finale as with that book. In a rare exception to most movies, you actually want him and most of the cast to live. The ones you don't care for end up as bug food early one, so kudos to the directors for that. continue reading...
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| Wednesday, November 11, 2009 - Horror |
Witchmaster General [2009] - A man visits a master of the dark arts in order to kill off his cheating wife. This leads to a confusing police investigation. It's hard to admit when one is wrong, but in this case I have to plead guilty. I first loaded this up and saw the mini-DV quality movie start. Now mind you I didn't take offense to this, as I do tend to like homebrewed efforts, but more often than not a chance to be clever gives way to some need to push the boundaries in way that have been done before yet still come off offensive just for the sake of it. Considering the things committed to film in the 70's, not much else can be done, so most endeavors that try to be 'edgey' just become tired. continue reading...
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| Tuesday, November 10, 2009 - Horror |
Wrong Turn 3 [2009] - The mutant cannibalistic mountain folk are still out there to kill passing drivers. I often get Wrong Turn mixed up with Joy Ride. Each involves a car ride (sans cliche somehow) and a young actress who sells the movie by being on the cover. Well the Wrong Turn series is the one about inbred cannibals, so I suppose I should keep that in mind. I find it hard to believe we're on the third one already. The first was a decent movie, and the second was redeemed by Henry Rollins as the hyper commando reality TV producer. With the third entry, we pretty much have [Alien Invasion Arizona], but without the aliens. Same amount of toes though.
What I mean by that is the fact that the plot revolves around a prisoner transport via bus, which of course goes horribly wrong as they usually do. Instead of an intentional jailbreak by accomplice girlfriends, it's just the mutant trying to run them off the road for food. The result is the same in any case as the guards are held hostage by the prisoners, who in term are fighting amongst themselves since there's always that racial tension in play. I'm not entirely sure naming the Hispanic character: Chaves, really helped either. continue reading...
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| Monday, November 9, 2009 - Games |
Nightmare in the Dark [2000] - Zafo and Brian review the undead cousin to Snow Bros. Zafo999
Playing As: Player 1 (Blue Gravekeeper)
LesserGood
Playing As: Player 2 (Red Gravekeeper)
The Neo Geo MVS is a very popular cartridge-based arcade system from SNK that came about in the early 1990s. If you're old enough to buy porn then chances are you've seen a Neo Geo arcade cabinet at least a few times in your life. They were cheap and they could hold up to 6 different games in one machine, and the craziest part is that most Neo Geo games are pretty good! Good enough that new Neo Geo games continued to be developed and sold as recently as 2004!
Our first Neo Geo game we'll be reviewing is Nightmare in the Dark. If you've ever played Snow Bros. then you won't have a problem with Nightmare in the Dark. For starters, both games are arcade platformers with each stage taking up the entire screen. In order to progress, one must clear the screen of baddies within a certain amount of time. Where they differ is purely superficial: in Snow Bros. you coat your enemies in snow and slam them into each other, with Nightmare in the Dark, you coat your enemies in fire and...slam them into each other. Also, Nightmare in the Dark looks better but Snow Bros. is a decade older so there's no surprise there. continue reading...
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| Friday, November 6, 2009 - Horror |
Pig Hunt [2008] - While on a hunting trip for wild pigs, a group runs into several threats. Forests and hillbillies are usually a combination for a lower budget production in order to hide said lack of money. The sets are free, and a little dirt will put anyone into character. However Pig Hunt ended up being a much better production that a typical entry.
After the obligatory scene were a person we don't care about gets killed by the POV of some creature, a horse randomly gets torn apart by a tree while two hippy girls look on. As history has predicted, the only natural thing left to is have a Car Ride Cliché! Yes, you could get away that easily. It does happen a little later in the movie continue reading...
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| Thursday, November 5, 2009 - Sci-fi |
Inseminoid [1981] - In space, no one can hear you get knocked up by an alien. If you told me that the first thing I was going to see, after countless millennia of slumber, was a “Z-grade” film about an alien that impregnates women, I would have stayed buried. Imagine my chagrin when I was unearthed for the sole purpose of reviewing this film and others like it. Inseminoid's story isn't difficult to grasp if you're familiar with what the title implies: an alien that inseminates its victims, in this case a human female, with its putrid progeny so that they may carry out its monstrous agenda of eating and inseminating more people. I'm not sure what the appeal of this film is since even the most perverse internet closet case wouldn't find this attractive.
One of the most abhorrent aspects of this film is the deceptively approachable first eight minutes. We learn that a planet possessing an ancient and complex tomb structure is being investigated by a science team. Just as you start to take it all in, the story spontaneously devolves into a bloody mess of bad acting, technical flaws, and poor writing. This film is absolutely rife with some of the most absurd acts of human stupidity continue reading...
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| Wednesday, November 4, 2009 - Horror |
Blacula [1972] - An African king is bitten by the classic Transylvanian Dracula and let loose on American soil This movie has been on my list for a while. Since the beginning of my B-movie obsession in fact. Along with Dolemite, this is said to be one of the staples of blaxploitation era films. However after viewing this, it was far from being exploitative in many senses.
William Marshall as Blacula plays his role straight. As opposed to a hip 70's era African-American, he takes the role of an African king who is cursed by the traditional Dracula. Somehow his coffin remains in storage until two gay decorators buy it for a conversation piece. As they're messing around the storage room, Blacula comes to life and takes care of them. The mysterious deaths draw the attention of an investigator however, and Blacula gets some heat on his trail. continue reading...
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| Monday, November 2, 2009 - Comedy |
Student Bodies [1981] - A parody of 80's slasher movies actually set in the 80's. It seems like recently, only a few movies can come out before they are lumped into the parody movie of the month. Most of these don't really have a plot. There's a basic flow and a few characters, but mostly they are a series of scene re-enactments where everything it set up as close to the original, then something (sort of) funny happens and they break character before moving to the next. The scenes run the movie rather than having a normal movie with funny 'nods' to other classics.
Much like Airplane!, which is a successful application of the parody genre, Student Bodies takes a plot that could have been its own serious slasher movie, and then peppered it up with silly antics from the killer. The film benefits from being an early entry and hasn't learned any bad habits from the millions of clones yet. continue reading...
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| Thursday, October 29, 2009 - Comedy Horror |
Murder Party [2007] - A man receives a random invitation to a Murder Party. Despite not knowing the people, he has nothing better to do that create a last minute costume and show up. Once in a while, you rent a random movie and it just blows you away. Not because it's so great (although personally I would still argue the case), but because it just grabs a different angle and then takes you on a crazy ride.
Murder Party is less of a horror movie than a dark comedy, but there's plenty of gore to go around in any case. It's main strength is its morbid sense of humor. It's evident that a lot of creativity went into the flow of the movie as hardly a moment goes by without an event that displays the hilarious absurdity of the situation. continue reading...
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| Wednesday, October 28, 2009 - Horror |
Trick 'r Treat [2008] - A series of interwoven stories center around Halloween activity. Most everyone has seen Creepshow and most everyone like Creepshow. So that said, we have a new movie that follows in the same tradition of smaller interwoven stories and for the most part it works.
The movie follows four main tales, each of which crosses paths at some point. The movie starts with a young married couple home from a Halloween parade. The husband is into the holiday a bit more than his wife, and after a day of walking around, she is not terribly happy about having to clean up the decorations in the yard that he put out. In a grumpy mood, she blows out the candle in their Jack-o-lantern against the superstitious warnings of her husband. This of course riles up the demons of the night, and she meets an untimely end. continue reading...
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| Tuesday, October 27, 2009 - Horror |
Rocktober Blood [1984] - A heavy metal band singer slaughters his crew and is sentanced to death. However a year later he seems to be back. When you think of Heavy Metal Halloween movies, you may think of Heavy Metal Zombies or Trick or Treat with Gene Simmons, but here we have the real deal.
Based on real life band Sorcery, a heavy metal band is in the process of recording their new record. Internal tension is running high as the lead singer Billy 'Eye' knows he's hot stuff and acts as such. A pseudo-ex-girlfriend is still on the roster and while not being involved any more with Billy, she still was promised a song of her own. She gets placed on backing vocals, which doesn't cut it, but there isn't a whole lot she can do. continue reading...
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| Friday, October 23, 2009 - Horror |
Re-Animator [1985] - A troubled scientist searches for the cure to death and ends up creating zombies. Good enough! Prior to reading up on the exploits of Herbert West, I never thought much about the idea of restoring life after death. Sure, I was familiar with the story of Dr. Frankenstein’s Monster, but in many key ways, that story was quite different from Re-Animator. Though it was true that both stories dealt with unorthodox science, one story (Frankenstein) had a man creating life from nothing but a myriad assemblage of appendages, whereas in Re-Animator the scientist was literally resurrecting whole individuals to see if he could “cure” death. From that moment on, I was intrigued with stories that involved the prospect of postponing or even preventing the mortal absolutes. While I personally don’t believe you really can go against nature, I was nonetheless captivated by these madmen and their righteous challenge against what God intended. Of course, in the end, most if not all of these men paid dearly for their hubris, but man, what a ride!
In the film adaption to Re-Animator, another H.P. Lovecraft story, actor Jeffrey Combs plays the role of Herbert West, a troubled scientist obsessed with bringing people back to life. Though the endeavor seems noble, both Combs’s acting and the actual character of Dr. West portray a man that is far from heroic. Recently transferred to Miskatonic University (a common place for abnormal happenings in Lovecraft stories), West wastes no time in terrifying his roommate, killing their cat continue reading...
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| Thursday, October 22, 2009 - Horror |
One Eyed Monster [2008] - A piece of Ron Jeremy detaches and kills people. Not quite sure how to review this bizarre movie. In essence, it's a traditional monster/critter movie. However, if you go by the cast and titles, it throws elements of the adult industry into the mix. However it is first and foremost a regular horror movie and combined with a level of very apparent campiness makes for a much stronger end result.
Many self-referential jokes are played out during the movies, but unlike some who try to boast or play up the shock values, One Eyed Monster treats the industry like a tired dog, and pushes forward with self-depreciating humor throughout. This I believe is its greatest strength. Nothing is really seen in a positive light, and many instances are viewed with a sense of frankness that shows how unglamorous the biz can be. continue reading...
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| Wednesday, October 21, 2009 - Originals |
Zombie Zinger [2009] - Once again, the crew is obligated to fight the zombies in the Cottontail Forest Preface by Dann:
I've been asked to provide some commentary on the symbolic nature of these films. While looking like a generic mini-DV production from feeble minds, it was however finely crafted, to tackle some of the tough issues of our day.
Much like Aesop's Fables, the need to replace prominent figures with animal counterparts is a crucial component to conveying social complexities that otherwise would have proven too obvious, and thus dismissed on pure ideological grounds. While this sometimes blurs the analogies into a confusing mix of pure apparent fantasy and possible exploitative narrative, I would argue the omission of partisan crosstalk is ultimately necessary.
Moving back to the original installment in 2000, we were in a different time. Clinton was continue reading...
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| Tuesday, October 20, 2009 - Horror |
Satan's Schoolgirls [2004] - Schoolgirls turn evil, but then more evil kills them or something. What do you call a movie with no redeaming qualities? ... This movie.
I suppose it was created as an outlet for some sort of private school angst, or someone had to go to church instead of play with Transformers, but the theme has been played out many times. In fact this dates back to the Marquis de Sade's distaste for religion as a whole, and often made the clergy out to be vile hypocrits. So I suppose the biggest complaint here is that this movie just treads on ground already covered in much more detail, hundreds of years earlier. continue reading...
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