If you're ever at a movie store and look through the horror/sci-fi section, you may notice some DVD sets by Brentwood. They boast having several movies in one place for the low price of around $7. Many have about four, while a few have upwards of 10-20. I learned a while back that these are not in any way good deals, and the money spent, while it gets you a lot, is still a waste due to the utterly horrible movies you end up with.
Many of them seem to include horror movies from the 60's like Carnival of Terror, real z-grade drive-in stuff. Those types of movies, I just can't stand. With a few friends they may be fun to rip, but otherwise it's just an endless scene of boredom with possibly a few cheese moments sprinkled in. continue reading...
Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - Horror Sci-fi
DMX Carnivorous [2008] - A child draws monsters out of anger derived from his abusive parents, but one monster becomes real and only DMX can stop it.
I shouldn't act surprised about these types of movies. I really shouldn't. I suppose the first hint was that it not only starred DMX, but it was also directed and produced by him. Now as far as rap goes, I did find him one of the more tolerable artists, and the constant barking was at least a clever way to create a radio edit rather than bleeping, silencing, or reversing the offensive words. continue reading...
Monday, February 22, 2010 - Animation Series
Gurren Lagann [2007] - A coming of age story about a boy who uses giant robots and his own personal confidence to save the world. This has never been done before.
From LesserGood: We have currently been unable to reach Brian pending a reevaluation of his activity on the site. Please enjoy this review he sent in advance while we attempt to track him down.
A while back I reviewed Dead Leaves, an anime so visually expressive and fun to watch that it went well beyond the archetypal trappings of what it means to be "anime" in this day and age. Directed by Hiroyuki Imaishi, he would later move on to direct Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann in his first time directing a full-length series. While there's no denying the magnitude of Gurren Lagann, with the overall scope, intricate story arcs, and complex character development, in comparison to Dead Leaves, the series felt a little restrained.
While I'm usually a proponent of the private sector spearheading many innovative trends, and government usually bloating things to the point of extreme inefficiency, I must admit I was wrong about one thing: gratuitous death footage. continue reading...
In this strange game, you take control of a bear, or rather his one arm, and attempt to drive a car one-handed. This involves turning the wheel, hitting the gas, hitting the break, grabbing food, and throwing away stowaway badgers all with one hand. How does it work? Badly. Badly, but in a good way.
I'm not as big into H.P. Lovecraft as many others, and in actuality I didn't even know who he was until recently. It was more of a concept that I didn't get for a long time. That said, it appeared that the many adaptations of his work would vary to a wide degree. After realizing that the subject matter originated in literature and your mind was meant to fill in the lack of details, there is also the fact that no one can really see many of these creatures since they are unimaginable horrors or simply make you go mad.
Releases like the Dunwich Horror, which I couldn't bring myself to finish, were dreadfully dull and seemed to deal with futurist occult material. The Unnameable series and Castle Freak became traditional monster movies, while Dreams in a Witchhouse treads some more psychological yet still tangible ground. continue reading...
Friday, February 5, 2010 - Animation
Dumbland [2002] - David Lynch offers us a rare glimpse of how pesky humanity is through the eyes of God. Amen, brother.
Imagine you're sitting in your living room on a sweltering July afternoon. A common fly whizzes by your ear maintaining a perimeter of no less than two inches about your head. The incessant buzzing of its little wings soon overpowering everything else in the room as you try to go about your business. Imagine that same scenario only instead of one fly, there's a couple billion; all buzzing about. This is what it is like to be a god.
If you were to watch Dumbland you'd probably think that it is both noisy and continue reading...
Tuesday, February 2, 2010 - Horror
Attic, The [2008] - After seeing a doppelganger in the attic, and agoraphobic girl tries to figure out what's going on.
It takes a lot, but I can fairly safely say that I didn't like this movie. Not because it was really bad, but more because they tried to be good and then ultimately weren't.
While several complaints are due to unattractive leads, I suppose that wouldn't really fly nowadays, so I'll attempt to find other things that I didn't like. Now I don't like to harp on 'these modern day horror movies' being nothing like the classics, but usually that context relates to the big budget theater releases. No, I tend to get more annoyed by the medium budget films that seem to occupy the middle ground between indie effort and mindless popcorn flick. continue reading...
Friday, January 29, 2010 - Horror
Zaat [1975] - A man transforms himself into a bipedal catfish and then kills people in town.
I wanted to give this an extreme rating of some sort, since it goes far beyond the realms of simply being 'bad'. However it's not so bad it's good, and it isn't so bad that I simply didn't like it. So it will unceremoniously sit in the middle of the general 'bad' range.
It is pretty bad though, and it thoroughly blasted from pretty much everyone. My gripe is not from the production value, nor the random splicing of scenes or drawn out pulley system assemblies, but rather the fact that not much seems to go on, and I can't make heads or tails of any of it. continue reading...
Thursday, January 28, 2010 - Animation
9: The Original Short [2005] - In a world without man, tiny little dolls live in perpetual fear of the Beast.
If you're like me, you knew about the theatrical motion picture "9" produced by Tim Burton before you ever even heard about the animated short of the same name by Shane Acker. The short was developed and released as a school project in 2005. Garnering much respect, it caught the eye of one, Tim Burton, and 9 took off from there to be released as a motion picture in 2009. I recently had the chance to watch both the short and the motion picture. While I feel both films were done well, the short is the one I'll be reviewing today.
Our story starts with the titular character "9," a sentient doll, eking out a meager existence on a post-apocalyptic continue reading...
Monday, January 25, 2010 - Horror
Wolvesbayne [2009] - Noble werewolves fight evil vampires in a battle of the ages.
Often it's very easy to see what movie a clone is copied from. Wolvesbayne features a clan of werewolves fighting evil vampires, with a heroic brunette. Unlike say Underworld which features a heroic vampire fighting werewolves. Completely different of course.
But what was really needed was a selfish and annoying businessman to whine the whole movie and make you generally feel no empathy for him. This of course adds something new and fresh to the tired formula of character we care about. continue reading...
Welcome to the first installment of retro commercials. The first may be the last, since I don't have any others on hand at the moment, but we'll go with it regardless.
The following are commercials that I've personally taken off old VHS tapes, so I'm not just meandering around Youtube looking for update fodder. We run a clean ship around here, you know. All of these were around an original airing of No Man's Land, which I'm sure I will be tackling at some point. A few seem to be from a later point in time, since VHS tapes aren't really all that organized. Often you just threw a tape in at the last moment to record something. Alas those days are gone, and I don't even know how to tape things off the TV anymore.
My first impressions of this movie was 'wait, this looks familiar', and it soon dawned on me that I was watching yet another feature by the director of Blood Fart Lake. But I press on, hopeful that I could get a few laughs despite some crude humor.
As expected, there's pretty much the same level of crass jokes thrown into every scene...and every comment seems to be about body parts or fluids or certain acts. I'm not here to judge, it just didn't do that much for me, as I found Edgar's facial expressions and his twin brother's brain-dead behavior to have a better effect. Now I'm sure there's a market for the ultra-offensive indie movies, but it gets a little old after a while, and there is a desire for a little creativity in the mix. Like my review of Fart Lake, toilet humor can be funny, but it need to be clever. continue reading...
Tuesday, January 19, 2010 - Action
Blood and Bone [2009] - A man released from prison works his way up the street fighting circle to avenge a friend.
A common criticism of action movies is that the plot often lacks in lieu of fight scenes. But to me that's like saying a cake has too much frosting and lacks a plate so you have to eat it with your hands. Which to a normal person makes sense, but to me it sounds perfect.
Blood and Bone is all frosting, and with pure cane sugar at that. Within the first few minute, the story's protagonist is single handedly defeating a prison gang that tried to shank him in the bathroom. It only gets better from there. continue reading...
Monday, January 18, 2010 - Comedy Horror
Last of the Living [2008] - The last few survivors of the zombie apocalypse fight for their lives and a possible cure.
Finally an indie movie that was done spectacularly. A quick browse through the movie showed that it was a lower budget, self-produced effort, but it's readily apparent that they knew what they were doing.
Right from the start the camera angles were spot on, and title overlays were done tastefully. Heck, the rule of thirds seemed to even come into play. The lower budget did come into play as stock footage of riots was used with growling audio dubs to portray the wartorn Earth, and quiet morning roads were used for a humanless society. However all is forgiven when the original budget was $5000. I assuming most went to the camera. They then got funding to finish the movie and were able to add explosions and planes. Kudos. continue reading...
Disclaimer: I have been asked to comment regarding the nature of this review. I do hereby proclaim that I was working alone in this endeavor and I (LesserGood) claim full responsibility for any and all of the content read and/or viewed in this review.continue reading...
Thursday, January 14, 2010 - Sci-fi
Enemy Mine [1985] - A space pilot crashes on a planet with an enemy alien and finds out they have more in common that he thinks.
No idea why I stumbled upon this as 80's sci-fi isn't really my thing, but fortunately it's more of an adventure movie set to a sci-fi theme.
In the distant future Earth has proclaimed peace, so naturally they had to set out into space to find someone to butt heads with. As they explored deeper into the cosmos, the natural inhabitants didn't take too kindly to their presence, and a continuing war ensued. continue reading...
Monday, January 11, 2010 - Animation
Light Years [1988] - An evil armada travels 1000 years into the past to wreak havoc on a peaceful civilization.
Let's think hypothetically for a moment. Imagine you have a friend or somebody you know and you've known them for so long that you're positive they wouldn't hurt a fly. Then, suddenly, you get a glimpse of the future and you learn that at some point, maybe a year from now or more, this friend will commit some kind of hideous crime. However it hasn't happened yet in the time that you're from. Instantly you're transported back to the present with your friend who stares at you with uncertainty as you glare accusingly at him. Is your friend to be held accountable NOW for what he WILL do in the future?
Some people would argue that it is entirely unethical to hold someone accountable for what may (or may not) happen, while others might say that it's simply best to nip it in the bud. That's where the difference between knowing and understanding comes into play. Sure, you KNOW that your friend will commit continue reading...
Thursday, January 7, 2010 - Horror
And Soon the Darkness [1970] - Two girls cycle through rural France, but after an argument, split and get lost.
Few reviews feel as painful of a process as this one. I've had the title screen capped for months now, and if it weren't for today's original movie missing the final scene, I wouldn't be scraping up movies I sort of watched just for an excuse to not re-watch a new one.
Truth is, it really isn't that bad of a movie, I'm just bellyaching since I can and it's Thursdays. Thursdays suck as usual. The story follows two young nurses on holiday (it's a British movie, so I'll use British terms), as they cycle through France. They spend most of the journey on long stretches of road and stopping at the cafés along the way. continue reading...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010 - Horror
Rejuvenatrix [1988] - A women on a quest for eternal youth, ends up on a murderous rampage.
Much like the Re-Animator (who's popularity I imagine this film tried to play off of), Rejuvenatrix covers the issue of messing with a part of life that should not be meddled with. In the Re-Animator, it was death, but in this movie the concept of eternal youth and beauty is the main focus.
The fountain of youth has long been a holy grail, either as a literal fountain out in a remote location, or has a solution that can be discovered. As with [The Granny], it never ends well and usually a zombie/demon/monster is the result which will stop at nothing to kill others. continue reading...
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