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| Blood Car [2007] - review by Dann |
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Director: Alex Orr
Starring: Mike Brune Anna Chlumsky Katie Rowlett
Country: USA
I really wasn't sure what to make of this movie after watching it the first time. Right off the bat (well throughout the whole movie really), many things are so very very wrong. However the director makes it very clear that this movie won't be taking itself very seriously. The silliness of the scenarios does end up overtaking the scenes that leave you shaking your head in shame (but still smiling).
As a disclaimer, the narrator starts the movie by walking out of the darkness and talking directly to you. Yes you. Set in the future, a few weeks from now probably, gas has risen to $30/gal and no one can afford to drive cars. This creates a situation where even the most junky jalopies are seen as status symbols if you can manage to drive them. The narrator pauses to eat a bag of chips, then continues to introduce our main character.
Archie is a kindergarden teacher. The wholesome sort, who in a move that would send a tingle up Al Gore's leg, wants to solve the gas crisis by creating fuel from Wheatgrass. A noble endeavor, but one that ultimately is just pretty stupid. However on the bright side, he gets to visit the veggie shack on a daily basis and buy supplies from my girl. No not my girl, but the girl from My Girl, who now apparently isn't too picky about the roles being offered to her. The veggie shack is right accross the way from the meat shack run by the antithesis of all that going green stands for. Yet in a bad way.
Going home each night to certain failure, Archie experiments with the wheatgrass engine of doom until he accidentally pricks his finger and a single drop of blood falls into the gas intake. The machine sputters to life for a brief second, giving Archive the impression that blood and wheatgrass form a powerful combo.
This of course is dead wrong. Dead being the key word since Archie has yet to realize that only human blood will work, and that wheatgrass detail is also irrelevant. This yet to be discovered fact creates a situation where Archie must find small animals to kill and feed to the blood car. Obviously with his vegetarian roots at odds with the practice of shooting little critters, this causes much inner termoil. He mourns the death of each animals and pleads with them to understand that he would never eat them, just mince them up for fuel.
All is in vain though, since the animal blood does nothing. Finally connecting the dots, he realizes that humans are the way to go, and his landlord who just happened to die in her sleep, makes a nice first offering. He heads right to the veggie shack for more wheatgrass (he hasn't figured that part out yet), and is intercepted by the evil meat girl. Throwing the nice girls kindness aside, Archie accepts a date with the meat girl and partakes in wild deviant behavior like being peed on in the face. Then the government gets involved and really wants this technology. This leads to all sorts of whacky situations that keep getting more and more bizarre.
Blood Car really benefits from knowing what it wants to be. Never is there a serious vibe that gets in the way of a rediculous story. Everything is blown out of proportion much like the gas prices in the movie. Set pieces are minimalistic enough to get the job done and illustrate the point. Overacting is key and enjoyable throughout. As a bonus, whenever the narrator/secret government guy steps in, we're treated to a random monologue that pushes the silliness level right out the window. So remember, slavery was racist, but the Blood Car isn't. It's patriotic.
Quotes:
"A blood car isn't racist, it's patriotic."
(Holding a dead squirrel) "I promise I won't eat you, I need you for fuel"
Tags: Horror
Shot on Video
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Goshzilla says: NEVER HAVE I SEEN SUCH GREATNESS
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Dann says: Aside from your movies of course
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Goshzilla says: OF COURSE!!!!
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