Foothold: Love - BrianFrom: Derek Nede
Sent: Wednesday, February 1, 2006 2:01 AM
To: Clovis Tolbiac
Subject: why
I knew her back in hs. You never knew her, but she knew you.
Time grew and so did our friendship until we could no longer escape what it had become. Do you know what it is like to love and be loved, Clo? To know, just know that, no matter what, this is the woman you want to spend your entire life with.
No. I didn't think so. You were never the sort. You had a hard enough time trusting friends let alone lovers.
She loved me, Clo.
And I loved her.
She was the sort of person who you might expect to find on the west coast, but it was only when I visited, when she convinced me to stay out west, that I really got to know her. And that's when I knew I could never leave. Even before the blue. Even before the ]foreign characters cannot display[.
My wife was a lot like you, except that she still tried to make a difference despite how horrible the world was. She KNEW how horrible life was, but she also knew she had to be the change she wanted to see in the world. Especially if no one else would.
Curmudgeons, pretentious, self-entitled whelps! People like you, Clo. Too busy complaining and never striking out.
I know you don't care.
I know she was nothing to you, Clo. You made that obvious to me when I found her. What was left of her. The parts you hadn't smashed.
But you made a mistake Clo. A bit of you got lost along the way. Some red. Did she fight back, Clo? Did she make you earn it? I bet she did because there is a little of your filthy, hateful red mixed in with all that blue you splattered across my kitchen.
And now, Clo. Now I have found you.
You might feel the temptation to flinch or, perhaps, glance over your shoulder. I would advise against it unless you want to catch my knife your eye. Just relax.
I won't hurt you.
Quite the contrary. I will give you a gift.
You will know, finally, what it is to be loved and you will know what you stole from this world. Stole from me.
I will give you blue.
- Your Friend
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