|
From: Derek Nede
Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 5:31 AM
To: Clovis Tolbiac
Subject: No, seriously, Clo. Come on!
Well, well, well...
Another day, another problem from a real big baby named Clo. I almost went with "another day, another dollar" until I realized you wouldn't know anything about that. What were you? A writer? There is so much more you could be doing...once you have your blue!
So, I was buying some goofy, over-sized headphones. I wasn't really planning on using them, just drape them around my neck. You know? Ironically. Anyways, I got to thinking. I'm gonna be frank for a minute, Clo. This isn't much fun. Mostly because I'm not winning. I think it's time we acted like big, squishy adults and had some big, squishy quality time.
We'll squish all night. But no gay stuff.
Seriously, come on. Where are you? I hope you weren't thinking of heading for the coast. If my boys didn't find you the angry men would. The angry men and their guns.
Do you want to know a secret, Clo? I never liked you. In fact, during hs, it was all I could do not to just completely humiliate you at every turn. And frankly, you made it easy. You were kind of a wuss.
Anyways, all of that is behind us. I just want to make this right and I keep trying to make you an offer you can't refuse AND YOU KEEP REFUSING IT, CLO!!!11 What the hell, man?! Did you even read the other two emails I sent you? It's only a matter of time before the angry men shut that down too. Sometimes you make me so angry. Not like the angry men. This is a special kind of angry, just for you.
I'm sorry.
Are you still reading? I'm sorry, Clo. Sometimes I lose control. I need you to believe me for a minute, okay. It's been said that a person who really wants to hurt you will never contact you about it. Ergo, I love you so much that I have to kill you now. But it's not quite killing because we'll still be bros. Brothers. BLUES Brothers, with an extra emphasis on the Blue, man.
Why don't you come out so I can show you how much I love you?
Nah, man, I'm kidding.
Seriously, I will mess you up.
CALL ME! WHERE ARE YOOOOOOU! >:]
- Needy
PS- Super tip from a totally human human: If you ever lose your way at night let the blue, glowing, gnarled roots sticking out of the asphalt be your guide.
Tags: Article
Blog
|
Dann Blog
